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”The blonde says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.”The blonde died.There’s a new kind of coffee that acts as a strong laxative.It’s called G.I. JoeHow do two cats make love?The male cat goes to the female cat and says ‘naaaoooouuuw’.And the female cat responds by saying, ‘not naaaoooouuuw’.If you rob a bank in a sanctuary city, is it “illegal”, or just an “undocumented withdrawal”?What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and ET?ET learned to speak English and wanted to go home... A liberal is someone who wants you to think like them.A conservative is someone who just wants you to think.A man went to the local church and asked to Join. The preacher said “Ok, but you have to pass a small bible test first. The first question is ‘Where was Jesus born?’”The man answered “Longview”.The preacher said “Sorry ... you can’t join our church.”Soooooo ... he went to another church and asked to join. The preacher said “We would love to have you but you have to pass a bible test first. “Where. Can I have the time off or not?" he finally said, impatient as a child."Yes, yes, go. I told her to take you out. Now you kids go and have a good time," I said, waving my hand at him in the direction of the door. He didn't hesitate the slightest and rushed out the door, saying "Thank you thank you thank you" repeatedly under his breath as he left.He shut my door behind himself as he left and I heard him literally RUN towards the elevator. I sighed deeply and leaned back in my chair, smiling to myself about the fun that lay in store for Damon and Halle that afternoon. I managed to get a little more work done that afternoon, but decided to just send everyone else home and close up early, since there wasn't much to be done right now anyways with the state Hollywood was in.The next morning, I got into work earlier than I usually do, hoping to make some early morning calls and get some paperwork done before the rest of the office staff came in. I also hoped to be able to talk to Damon.
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