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"Unless you're gay or something" she continued. "What?" I said, not believing what I had just heard. "Well some of the girls were saying that they have done everything they can think of to get your attention without any success, and they know you don't date, at least from this school, so..." I didn't know whether to laugh or get mad. I decided that the humor of it was just too much. Wait until I told my mother and sister and Carmella about this suspicion! I laughed out loud. "If it will save my reputation, I guess you have a date," I chuckled. She looked confused for a moment, not understanding the joke. Then she said "Jeeese, I wonder if I can still get a prom dress at this late date? I wonder if you can still rent a tux?" I looked at her pretending to be indignant, smiled, and replied, "I have my own tux, thank you." Oh, and give my mother a call, she knows all the stores, and I am sure she can help you locate something. Actually, you two look about the same size, perhaps you could. Damn, they sure know how to ruin a man’s night of fun! I won’t even talk to my new lover for even eight seconds; turns out, she is fucking hooker. I also deleted all those so called hot emails the bitch sent me for the past seven months. I also regret fucking my wife the other morning at six a.m. I also arranged to pay off those five credit card bills and it felt good to cut them up. I already have four naughty words in my mind to tell her. Now you’ll have to excuse me, I’m going to the library where I can learn three French ones, so I can cuss her out good the next time. I do not care if she gives me two more black eyes. After all, she did signed the divorce decree!”On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love said, “I packed twelve bags and headed out of town. You got it I will be in hiding. I will not get the eleven reasons why. I will not get drunk to the point I hear ten drummers, drumming, I will not even look at nine women dancing! Nor will I go looking for one night.
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