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Sounds clinical and benign, doesn't it? It wasn't. I had cheated on him on our anniversary and flaunted it. The reasons I thought I had were false and stupid.I learned in therapy that it was practically preordained by the constant messages I had gotten in childhood of my inadequacy as a person. My parents had not meant to scar me. It was their way of saying, "I think you're so great you can do anything." But it came out, "Why won't you do better? You never live up to your potential. You're a failure." I guess my subconscious started to believe it after the 10,000th or 20,000th time I heard that I was, somehow, not worthy. So I was set on a course to prove them correct.That was then. Once I understood why I did self-destructive things, the affirmation of my worthlessness lost its power over me. Even if I had done unworthy things in the past, nothing prevented me from avoiding them in the future. At least that was what I hoped. One day at a time.I looked in the full-length mirror. I. I rolled over, still in shock from what she had just told me. She looked at me and said that she did still love me, and that she still wanted to be with me, but that she couldn't stop fucking other guys and needed to experience new things. After a lot of back and forth (sparing the boring details), I caved and told her that I loved her too much to lose her and that if she wanted an "open relationship" type deal I would be okay with it. But then she turned on me again, and said that she really liked watching me eat cum out of her pussy and having me fuck her after she had been used. SO she basically wanted a relationship where she could fuck anyone she wanted, and she would bring me the sloppy seconds afterwords. The idea turned me on so much I had to say yes. I told her that I would do anything she asked of me, no matter what it was. She seemed to like that I said that, because then she asked me to eat my own cum out of her pussy. Now that I knew what it was inside her before, I was a.
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