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It was just fucking. He tried to tell me I was wrong and it wasn’t moral and I said that was bullshit. I said I was being honest and it was better to have an open honest relationship than a fake dishonest one because of society’s rules. What the fuck was morality anyway? Finally I had to tell him about fucking Bill in the bathroom and the coke and he just looked at me stunned. I could have kept that a secret, but I wanted to be completely honest and took the chance that we could break up. It broke my heart to hurt Ben and realized how much I really loved him, but I had to be honest with myself first or I could never be honest with anyone or with my singing. When he slumped back in his chair and I saw the pain in his eyes, I went to him and sat down on the floor between his legs. I felt so much for him and wanted to show him. I put my hand on his cock and started rubbing it. He didn’t budge but just sat back, so I moved my hand up and down wanting to give him pleasure and hoped he. My own desires didn’t come into it because for lots of years, I literally didn’t have any. I’d never allowed that side of my nature to develop and thought that sex was something for men to enjoy and which was necessary to make babies. I’d done that for Sam, given him two sons, but I’d never experienced an orgasm, not even when he used to give me some reasonable attention such as licking my pussy and fucking me. That had been in the early years, when he still had a passion for me, but it had been steadily declining as the years passed. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me, just that he found me boring. My body and my sexual experience, weren’t enough to keep him aroused, but that wasn’t my fault. He’d wanted a virgin for a bride and that’s what he’d got, a maiden who knew next to nothing about sex.I didn’t mind sucking Sam off though, I quite liked it, even if it didn’t give me any direct pleasure. There’s something about having a man’s cock in your mouth which is quite empowering, giving.
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