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He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally, the last soldier was addressed. “And you, Private, where would you like measured?”“From the tip of me penis to the base of me balls, Sir!”, retorted the private.The commander replied, “I must admit this is quite an unusual request, Private, but it’s your decision.” He ordered the private to drop. ” I reached up and gingerly felt a lump on the back of my head, now covered with a bandage. “Then everything went blank.”“That’s probably when most of the damage was done. It’s a lot easier to beat somebody up when they are laying on the ground unconscious,” he commented.“Well, if I ever get the chance to return the favor, I’ll remember that,” I replied.“You will do no such thing!” ordered Mom.I shrugged in response. Doctor Tolliver said, “Bottom line, you’re going to get better, but it’s going to be slow and painful in the meantime. You’ll probably stay here for a few days, until we figure out how bad the internal injuries are. Either things don’t get better, and we have to bring in a surgeon and look around inside you, or the blood will clear up and we can remove the catheter. You’ll be in a few casts, but the orthopedic guy will tell you about that.” He looked over at Mom. “Did they give you a name? I’d suggest Ben Friedell, he’s pretty good.”“That’s who I was planning on,” she.
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