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Daddy forced me to fuck a lot of men. He made me dress like a little girl and act like one. I had to pretend to be a virgin. He even had this thing like a hymen, with fake blood in it, that he sometimes made me put inside me. It ruptured when they pushed into me. And he made me douche with this stuff that made me tighten up inside, but it made the sex hurt really bad. When all those guns started going off in that motel room, it was... horrible. Something just ... snapped inside me, I guess. I couldn't talk and I can't stand to have a man touch me," she repeated. "I'm just scared to death to be near a man. I can't help it. And I still can't believe you're married. Let alone to Jeff."Jennie pulled Hope into her arms again, then looked over at the girls. "Houston, we have a problem." She meant it to be a joke to lighten up the tension a little, but her voice broke halfway through.The girls all cried together for a while, then Nicki found a box of tissues and passed them out. Somehow the. She needed cleansing. If she could just get clean, she would feel worlds better. Of course she was miserable. With tears drying on her cheeks and something that didn't bear investigating drying on the insides of her thighs, how could she be anything but miserable?Turning on the jets, she stepped over the edge, relieved to see that the steam had already fogged up the mirrors around the tub. Did this hotel have some kind of a weird mirror fetish? Didn't they know that girl might want to have a place where she didn't have to look at herself once in a while.Not a girl, she corrected herself, a woman. Wasn't that what they said after a girl had sex for the first time--that she'd become a woman? Fine. She had no idea what else she was now. At least she had one element of identity to hold onto.With the jets swirling around her, pounding aches out of her muscles, Marigold tried to decide what else she was. The first words that came to mind, unbidden, were "a whore," but they didn't last. As.
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