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Ever!”I rinsed off the soap. She did as well. I took a towel and dried myself. She did too. I walked into the bedroom and pulled back the covers and got in. Lynn dried her hair and came to bed. She chose the side I was facing and when she climbed in she backed herself to spoon with me. I put my hand on her soft hip. She took it and pulled it around to her breast.“I love you, Lynn. I love you Erin.”“I love you, Paul. I love you, Erin.”I woke up early, feeling completely rested, even refreshed. My wife lay beside me, warm and soft and inviting. As I lay there my thoughts flew all over the world. I thought about happiness and lust. My thoughts suddenly stopped and I had an overwhelming feeling of ... home. I was home, with my wife. That is when I knew, in my heart of hearts, that if I had to choose, if it was a life or death decision, that Lynn was my first wife.Erin was a close second. Lynn had been the woman that pulled my head out of my ass and made me realize that I could love. I didn't know and didn't care. All I knew wasthat if you were face down you stood less chance of having your facesmashed and you couldn't see the blows coming if you were going to get abeating. It was also easier to curl up into the foetal position from akneeling or face down position. Once you were curled up it was difficultfor an attacker to prise your vulnerable parts apart.I knelt on the floor and lay face down across the bed thus presenting mysissy hole for the inevitable assault; it wasn't long coming and I feltmy sphincter burning and ripping as he drove cruelly into my soft,vulnerable, unresisting body. All the time the words, 'survive this,survive this, live to bear witness, survive at all costs!' were poundingthrough my terrified brain.To survive such repeated brutal experiences, those who have been there,(and readers, I am one!) slowly learn to try and get themselves 'outsidetheir own bodies'; to somehow escape from the body and therefore escapefrom the immediate pain. The.
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