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)"You know, that's the seventh time you've called me a faggot. That's not cool." He lit a cigarette. Most of the audience were laughing, muttering to themselves, and/or standing in the back with their arms crossed. "Nothing wrong with being a faggot," he continued. I could tell something bad was about to happen, so I started inching toward the door."Well, if you want us to be faggots, then we'll be faggots for you." He whispered to Martin, who started into "Cheree." "Jerry, Jerry/my black leather laddie," he warbled toward Fat Asshole, about fifteen octaves above his usual range. "I love you." Then, everything changed. Let me explain what I mean. Have any of you ever been insane? If so, do you remember that head-full-of-cotton feeling you get before you do something crazy? I could feel that cotton expanding out of everyone's heads and into the air as Martin and Alan began to kiss. They lip-locked for a few minutes, with Martin continuing to play his keyboard with one hand while. It was barely visible. "No," I thought to myself, "they'll never see it."I took a quick shower, and about two minutes into it, I realized something terrible. The damn glass shower door! I had looked through my new closet hole at that door five or six times that evening, imagining what a great angle I had into the shower. But shit! In less than three minutes in the shower, the whole door had steamed up. It was impossible to see out, so it certainly would be impossible to look in. Damn! What could I do.It was then that a miracle happened, or at least it seemed like a miracle to a young kid. Two weeks before, I had been shopping at the local mall with mom, and we had been called over to a small, temporary booth by some guy selling something. You know those little kiosks that set up in malls, where people who are out of work or something try to make ends meet by pushing one kind or crappy product or another. Well, this guy was selling something to clean your eyeglasses with, a kind if.
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