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” She wailed; “I’m so sorry.”“Did you call the maintenance people? The rings would be stuck in the ess trap.” She knew I understood plumbing. I worked in a plumbing shop summers while in college.“No, I didn’t think of it? I will call them right now if they find them we can drive there and pick them up this weekend.” With that she went into the extra bedroom (we used it as a sort of home office) to use the extension there. I picked up the kitchen phone and listened to the daily horoscope recording.Mary and I grew up in the same neighborhood as her family lived just down the street from us. Neither family was rich, but probably would be considered lower middle class.She is a little more than two years younger than me. We were in the same school from my second grade and her kindergarten until I went away to college. We walked to school together, and in a lot of respects, we were more like siblings then neighbors. She came to me when she had problems with bullies, stinky friends, stupid. But like when you went to him and accused him of taking it, he’d get all defensive and start talking about how all his loaves and fishes crap and how he didn’t need my crappy-ass bread. But he was all fucking talk, I never saw him multiply no freaking fishes. And if I didn’t eat the bread, then what happened to it huh? The worse part was when I caught him trying to hook up with my girlfriend. I mean, Marnie and I had been dating like four months at that point, and he shoulda known damn well that she was hands off, but I go into my bedroom during a party and there he is with his fucking tongue down my girlfriend’s throat, saying all that sweet talk like, ‘Hey baby, I’m like the Son of God. Horse doesn’t even come close to describing how well hung I am.’ Fuck that shit man, I don’t care if he’s the Lord Savior or what, you don’t fuck with what’s mine. So I punched him in his hippy-ass face. You know, you’d think he’d be all ‘turn the other cheek’ and that crap, but he went all ape-shit.
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