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.no one should know I havethem still. Then add with all the wards up I can't go explore...outthere!After diving into what I can't do for far too long, I start to meditateon what I can do. As I go deeper and reach out as far as I dare. I openmy mental shields...just a small bit. NOT! too much as I know now thereis Darkness hidden and locked away here. As I go deeper I am findingmany 'new?' thoughts enter my head...from where? I do not understand.After about an hour or so, of me being out there meditating. The guardtaps me on my shoulder, points on the paper in my language and itsays...come inside. I stand up and walk back to the cart with them andthe guards are taking me downstairs back down into the complex onceagain.For the next two weeks, what seems to be our schedule. I meet with Beckyevery other day, she is teaching me this new language at a slow pace.That is more my issue than her not being able to teach. I basicallyasked her to teach me the commands for go outside, come outside,. I know sodomy is a deterrent for me. It’s always made me think twice about doing illegal stuff, having to be raped in jail. I can fight but I’m way too skinny to fight off 5 or 6 musclebound rapists... “Look, jail should be terrible. People should be raped and killed there. That way people don’t want to commit crimes. They’re too scared to commit crimes.“That’s why the Chinese are more law-abiding. They know how jail is. And Chinese jails are wicked horrible too, wretched, like 20 guys in one room, sleeping on a concrete floor, next to a dirty, stinky squat toilet.“In most Chinese prisons, there’s no heat, no AC, only one cold water tap for 20 people. There’s cockroaches and rats crawling everywhere. And they keep the lights on 24/7, force the prisoners to work hard labor all day and at night they gotta sit still and watch Chinese TV propaganda. It’s Hell.”I paused and shuddered at the thought of jail in China or in any third world country. Third world jails are probably the closest.
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