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The rich orange, reds, and yellows hold my eyes, it is calming and exciting in one. I picked up my chemise and it is ready for its new home of plastic, and so in it goes and I am ready for a quiet night. The darkness falls as the night closes. Sounds change from those of day to that of night. What can I think make them? The water is more prevalent as I sit quietly, with these thoughts and the fire. I reach up and take down my hair, long and thick from the simple brass cage it is held in. My head rests on the pillow of grass and my pack, the cloak over me my fire slowly dying and I drift off to sleep. Morning comes early out in the world, with no shades to try and hold it off, but to awake hear with the warmth of the returning sun is much better then the shriek of some alarm. The new morning brings me back to the box. My chain that has left an imprint on me is placed back in its wooden box, wiped off and coiled up. Into plastic it sits, and in the metal box. My hair pins as black as. I flopped down on the couch, my heart heavy as I listened to Mom cry. I felt overcome with helplessness. There was nothing that I could say or do to convince her how damn unreasonable she was being.Or was there?Staring up at the ceiling from where I lay, I thought things through.Mom felt guilty because she believed she was responsible for Dad's death. Well, when I was young and knew, deep down inside, that I'd done wrong, I always felt better in the end if I was caught and punished by my father, even if it hurt. Dad was fair but pretty strict, and whenever I really got out of line, he'd spank me -- right on my bare bottom if the offense was serious enough.For the first time, I wondered: did he ever deal with my mother in the same way?Maybe that was what she needed -- someone to punish her! At the very least, it ought to purge this emotionally crippling need that Mom had to torment herself.I wasn't at all sure about this, but I was desperate and had no other ideas. One big question.
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