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It was hurtful to Hermie andhimself. Even with it being an unpleasant topic those two, who shouldbe together, needed to talk about it. Hermie wanted and neededclosure to be able to move on from Sam. Sam needed it also, but didnot believe so. Even if that subject was important to his well being,they would not talk about it on his birthday. Today he wanted to begreat for he believed it was the last time he would spend qualitytime with the woman he loved."No need to be sorry. It was the past. We moved on from it." Sam, what happened that night is not just in the past. It is in thepresent and will be in our futures if I cannot say my piece." You already did so let us not rehash memories which will only bringus pain." No My Jaffa, I never said my piece. I gave excuses and try todownplay what I did.I was wrong, so wrong in casting those spells on you. My intent ofthem being playful does not change what I did. Only an idiot wouldthink that doing something which could be taken as harmful is. Complicated. Complicated because he also understood just how elemental Daphne was to him, and how their feelings were so intense. Complicated because she was the only woman who made him think of Rolling Stones lyrics to describe how he felt, something about wild horses not being able to keep him away from her. Complicated because he didn't want to hurt her, and he didn't want to hurt himself either.Alex lay in the darkness and, in that moment, it was simple and not complicated. He had left Daphne only a few hours before, with a few kisses, and yet those kisses were more intimate than any intimacy he had ever shared with a woman. But no sex. It was too hard. Too hard to just get dressed and leave at midnight after such wild and connected sex. A few kisses and goodnight and then a few short hours of sleep before he awoke in a sweat.That was the simple part. It was simple because whenever he saw Daphne, no matter how complicated the situation seemed, just seeing her made his world feel.
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