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“C’mon folks, you have maybe thirty seconds to get where you need to be!” Mr. Reid, a PE and Health teacher bellowed as he stepped out into the hallway.“Did you enjoy those Jumpin’ Jack Flashes as much as I did, Tempe?” I chortled as we boogied down the second floor hallway.(Note: The Rolling Stones’ Jumpin’ Jack Flash is from their 1968 album, Beggar’s Banquet. It was a huge hit, reaching number three on the Billboard Hot 100, and number one on the UK charts. It has been the most played Stones’ song during their concert performances with over 1,200 performances.)“I hate the Rolling Stones, so I’d have to say no, I didn’t enjoy those Jack Flashes!” Tempe replied with a negative head shake.“You don’t like the Stones! Really? Why?” I asked.“I’m kinda superstitious about my gymnastics and the only time I every slipped and fell out of bounds on a tumbling pass was to the Stones’ Shattered in the ninth grade. So, in my mind, Mick and the Stones are nothing but bad juju.”“So I’m guessing. Throughout my many years of dedicated, unselfish, empathetic advice-giving I have received mailbags overflowing with heart-rending letters of turmoil from wives and those blessed creatures who have been deemed fortunate enough to call themselves 'wife lovers' and today I am going to give that bottle a good shake, release the stopper, and see what sticky, thick and delicious liquid comes spurting forth. So, without any further 'much ado about nothing', and definitely not pausing to point out the awfulness of the metaphor I've crowbarred into this paragraph, let's go 'to the letters'. Dear CummiesSex is great, but my husband can't give me the emotional support I need. Sometimes, you just need a hug and he seems incapable of doing such a simple thing. It's one of his few shortcomings.Please advise,Mrs GodzillaDear Mrs GodzillaNow, this is one of the problems that bedevil even the most perfect of relationships. Day after day you find yourself upside down hanging from the garden swing,.
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