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The first submission of your husband is the most challenging phase of the process. Even if he wants to be your slave, he will resist. There are many reasons he will do this like gender stereotypes and the years of routine between you, but first and foremost will be that he wants to save-face. Not only can he not admit to you that he wants to be your bitch, but he can't admit it to himself either. He will never just give you power over him even though he wants to. This would violate his manhood. You need to take it from him - it's the only way.During this time, the power in your relationship will be in flux. Neither of you will be sure where the other stands. This uncertainty will be uncomfortable for both of you because it is human nature to order the world. You will have doubts such as, "Am I being too hard on him?" "Was this a good idea?" "Did I ruin our marriage?" These are completely normal thoughts, but you must never share them with your husband. It will have to be your own. I’d spent half an hour speaking to the late Captain Collins’ wife and his daughter, who had indeed wanted to hear everything I knew, even though I hadn’t actually spoken to the man while he was still alive. I suppose it just helps to deal with the loss. He was a nice guy, even if he’d decided to live in Doha while his family remained in the UK. Well, I wouldn’t want to pay UK income tax on a Captain’s salary, either. (I do pay income tax, by the way. But I understand how tempting it is to just rent a small house in the country of your company’s HQ if you spend half your time there anyway, and not pay a dime. Private schools are quite expensive, after all.)A crowd of his former colleagues stood around us, listening quietly at first and then moving on to questions about how I had managed to land that thing. I cut that off, because you don’t tell stories like that when the next of kin of the guy who caused all the trouble are standing next to you, do you?When I had nothing left to tell.
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