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We never lost contact, but I married someone else.I still went to see him, visiting him every few months on my way to see my parents. I knew he was saddened by my marriage, but he never admitted it. Life through curve balls, and we stayed by each other, him still madly in love, and me as a good friend. He did anything to show his love, but I just couldn't see it.That night things changed, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't believe my feelings for him. Kyle and I had walked in, my eyes surveyed the room, and I found the table he was waiting at. I sat next to him, Kyle across from us. John and I looked into each other's eyes, and in that moment, I knew he was going to be mine.I couldn't just say so, I had to make it through this dinner, somehow, and go back with Kyle. Sadly, it was easy. Kyle had a huge blow up about a little thing that was said, and I quickly paid the tab, and we left the bar.John having served, knew how bad Kyle's condition could get and worried about me.. The love of my life was gone. Crystal had been the glue that held us all together.Ellen got a short email from Crystal one morning ten days after that horrendous day.Dearest Jim, Ellen, Claire, Nadia, PJ, Terry, Dan, and everyone –Words fail me; I have no explanation for my terrible behavior. I have gone off to a place that I hope will help me return to being a whole person without the bad habits that sunk me. I hope I can recover at this point. I never realized the path I got on was so steep and would end in such a notorious way. I hope you can each forgive me in your own way. I never expect you to take me back, just please forgive me and know that I am sorry to my very core. I love you all, and I already miss you every second of every day. You're all I can think about. I've barely stopped crying since I left; I can't believe what I did to you all. I love you.CrystalI numbly read the printed page with the email on it, passed it back to Ellen almost without emotion at that instant. I.
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