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He hadn’t told me anything I didn’t already know.He sighed theatrically. I chose to embrace the contradiction. It was very obvious they were going to accuse me of cheating, but I couldn’t for the life of me think of a single credible reason why they would think I had.“Mr. Stott,” he began, “here at the university, we are very proud of our students and their achievements, which is why it is so disappointing when we find out that one of those students has done something as reprehensible as cheat in his exams.”“I presume that you are insinuating that I somehow cheated in my exams?” I asked.“Not insinuating,” he snapped. “Stating a fact.”“Facts are only facts if they are supported by evidence,” I countered. “What evidence do you have that I did anything wrong?”“The results speak for themselves,” he said. “Prior to this week you were averaging a three point five GPA, enough to get your degree, but nothing stellar. This week you have aced every single exam paper. Aside from the two. “To the right, from Rome’s Galleria Borghese. Oops! Mom’s lost her gauze. Note how lovingly she reaches to stroke the tree’s opening, foretelling works by Georgia O’Keeffe.”The co-eds look sideways at each other.ClickFIGURE“Next slide, Lorenzo Lotto, 1480-1556.” My students don’t know about slides, but it’s hard to say, “Next PowerPoint.”“Cupid Peeing, its popular title.”No reaction. Are they even listening?“Venus is again wearing a bit of gauze so as not to appear brazen. The wreath and suspended brazier are accouterments of the marriage chamber. Lotto was a master at emblematic devices.”I don’t point out that Cupid’s aim at his mother is through a wreath of bay leaves, what the Delphi priestesses burned as incense to intoxicate their worshipers. Above Venus’s head, a conch, a symbol of the female genitals from India that made its way to Italy. She’s losing her rose petals, smiling. If they want to think he’s peeing, fine. Lotto comes closer than most in showing Cupid’s penis as.
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