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” Mandy was puzzled. “Would you like to practice?” I asked. “How?” Mandy looked even more puzzled. “Well you could try putting it on my penis, my cock,” I suggested, trying as best I could to make it sound like a perfectly normal proposition. “I could? Wouldn’t Sylvie mind?” I didn’t want Mandy thinking about Sylvie because that might lead to her thinking about Rick and what both of them may be up to, so I moved on quickly. Mind you, I was curious myself as to what might be going on upstairs. “No it’s perfectly alright. It’s all in the interests of education,” I replied rather weakly. Then I quickly added, “We don’t want you getting pregnant, do we!” Which I thought might be a more effective way of convincing her. “Oh okay, then. What should I do?” Why don’t you undue my belt and pull down my trousers and boxers?” A hesitation. I could have done it myself, but I much the preferred the idea of Mandy doing it for me. “It’s okay.” “If you’re sure… ” “Yes. You need to learn to do it. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in.
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