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Thou shalt always accept sloppy seconds. If thou catchest thy partner in bed with others, join them and make it an orgy. If thou art caught by thy partner with others, invite them to join you and make it an orgy. Thou shalt always fuck thy friends, making them friends with benefits. Thou shalt always fuck thy friends’ partners, relatives, and the friends and partners of thy relatives. When in doubt, thou shalt fuck them. Thou shalt not impose chastity on anyone. When thy friends or relatives try to procreate, join them, bareback, to increase the odds of impregnation. Thou shalt always accept the offer of extra sperm or eggs to help you procreate with someone. All sperm donations, even at sperm banks, shalt be done au naturel henceforth, that is by means of sexual congress. If someone leaves a partner behind in the Rapture, fuck that partner. Fuck all former or present clergy if at all possible, and all monks, nuns, etc. Thou shalt remember Sixty-Nine Day and observe it by. ) But beautiful and talented as I almost certainly am, I’m also smart enough to know that I’m not actually the reason that this production of Forum is so good. Gymnasia doesn’t actually have any lines. None of the courtesans have, except Philia, of course. No, we’re basically sight gags or eye candy depending on who you’re talking to. A production of Forum lives or dies with its Pseudolus, in this case, Sim, the guy who just agreed to meet me and a couple of other ladies at the theatre on Valentine’s Day—well—night. This year the holiday falls on the off day. Like most theatres in the United States, Broken Arrow is dark Mondays. Now I love, love, love musical theatre, but as a career path, it does have its frustrations. You might work a little more often and make a little more money than theatre folks who don’t do musicals, but unless you’re Patti LuPone or Idina Menzel lucky, you don’t get rich. Then there’re the social drawbacks. All that waffle about how gorgeous I am to one side,.
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