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"As I will be helping the new Gary with the everyday routine, Jessica andI thought it only fair that you have help too, so Lucy, Jessica's bestfriend said she would help, so tomorrow she will spend the day with youand give you proper makeup lessons and then with practice you'll soon getthe hang of putting makeup on as Jessica would have done."Oh god how many people know about this?" I said in shock as I sat backon the bed."Only the four of us and it has to keep that way or baby time for you,Understand? I nodded a yes clutching my silk girl pyjamas bottoms andrealising I still had the magic tights on; my 1st thought was to takethem off and throw them away."I started reading the contract note again, "Jane, what's this aboutgoing back in time to Aunt Mae's?" Well, I also told the fortune teller of all your fantasies that you hadwritten on the computer, especially the fantasy of you being at AuntMae's house, alone and in Jennifer's bedroom and trying on one of herpretty dresses. So the . No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be moments of bliss, and happiness scattered in there, but, forever will I remember what I caused. I truly am so very sorry my sweet sweeth Kaitlyn, I pray that one day, you can forgive me. I'm not sure that you can, or will, and, if not, I do understand. If you do, or can, I'm eternally.
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