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The sun hasn’t risen yet and I’m coming further out of the daze I was shrouded in. When I become aware of where I am, images of the past nights dreams come back to me carried on a light wind. The scent of your skin, the taste of your lips claw at me- I want back to you, but the trees are so close together. All night, your eyes locking into mine. I’m awash and aching. I find you by vanishing myself. I dissolve the forest and reform as vapour to you in your room. You’re tangled half-hazard across the bed. I move closer, slowly too afraid you’ll disappear. As I look, I’m drawn forward. Everything’s so vivid I can hear crickets outside. The breeze has warmth to it. The oceans close. The cool floors polished wood, and the linen drapes let in just enough light. I know that when I touch you, you’ll be pulled back to day and I’ll be left in the twilight again. I lean down and brush my hand reverently over your stubbled chin. I smile, you’ve cut your hair. The urge to nip you a little harder. ComFrom: JillSubject: Last NightMaq:I want to thank you, again, for being such a special friend. I confess, I've wondered how people enjoy "cyber sex" or phone sex, but now, I've indulged just a little bit and I enjoyed. There is a freedom that is exhilarating to someone like me (especially someone like me who is psycho about the privacy thing). I told you last night that I've always been extremely sexual. At times I've wondered if there was something wrong with me. That was part of what came up in therapy. The therapist ended up hitting on me. Then, I found out later, he'd not kept my confidence. I sicced the lawyers on everybody.I ramble. I'm sorry.The point is I am frustratingly sexual and really do feel it is impossible to act upon. I know some of my peers do not seem shy about acting on their desires, but if you notice, very few can transcend the stigma that attaches. Not if their artistic goals are similar to mine. Anyway, you, my dear friend, have allowed me to enjoy a little.
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