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Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom." Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?" Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. "When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed."A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"His father smiled and replied,. " The teachers put Hazel down the front" Sarnt sighed "and us up the back — we're brighter, you see?" Is he likely to go for Hazel again?" Morg asked him.Sarnt half smiled and glanced at George who was giving an imitation of a cherubim blessing the flock,"He doesn't come to the school any more" and continued in response to Morg's raised eyebrow, "George strutted his stuff down the mall on sixday and the idiot picked him in front of adults. He spent seven day at the doctors and on oneday wouldn't get out of the limo because we were just standing at the front entrance; his parents threw a fit but hey we were just standing there and he wouldn't get out."Pat stared at them, and then gazed at the virtual horizon,"I heard that someone advised 'the idiot' that if ever he came within fifty metres of his baby sister again, that after his big brother and he finished with him, they'd give what was left to their baby sister to pick over." Wasn't us." "Aunt Pat..." "Never?" etcetera came from.
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