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I know that what I was doing seemed bad. But I was doing it for the best of reasons. There were so many things that we needed. It's like that old question that people always ask young people. Are you going to live on love? Well for the past six years we literally had. We'd both worked our asses off and we had a place of our own and food but that was about it and I was just tired of it.The average college student has more than we do. We don't even have a TV. One emergency would wipe us out. I know that I was the one who pushed for us to get married so young. But I didn't want the risk of losing Robbie. I only hope that he can understand that we have to live in the real world right now and sometimes you have to do a little bad, to get the greatest good.Another way of saying it is that we have to be ready to use every resource at our disposal to get the things we need or at least to put us on the path towards getting them. And right now one of the resources we have is my body. I hope. We're married and owe each other as much pleasure as we can provide." Well, no, I guess I didn't always feel that way. That was a problem for us. You know Sam, just as honest as the day is long. Sam would never break our marriage vows, but I was letting myself go and I could see 'the old wandering eye'. Sam never gave me any good reason, but I became insanely jealous. Mostly from guilt, I'm sure." No, even when I was ranting and raving, Sam just kept being honest and honorable. But wistful, and sad, too. I was tearing us apart." We talked, of course, really talked. I don't mean to be judgmental, but maybe if you and your George had talked more, you'd still be together." "Okay, maybe sometimes talking alone isn't enough. But Sam convinced me we needed to do whatever it took to stay together." Yes, it is easy to say that. But Sam was serious. Though at the time I was so jealous, guilt really, that I demanded proof of Sam's commitment before I would believe." .
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