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“ Soon as I get the chance, I'll slip out and get you a fifth of Jack.”I put two twenties in her hand and told her to be sure it was black label. Sandra came walking up and said she wanted to speak to me privately in her office. Donna winked at me as I followed her down a hall to her office. Stepping inside, the first thing to catch my eye was a massage table.. it was much nicer than mine, and had a few more attachments.“I took the liberty of buying that for this gym today. I had no idea they were so expensive.” I ran my hand along the smooth surface as she continued.“I've also ordered a set of those stones you use." Now I was getting mad. Sandra walked over and put her arms around my neck.. “They'll be here in a few days. This way, you won't have to lug all your equipment around..”“ What makes you assume that I will come and work for you!” I pulled her arms from my neck and turned towards the door.“Please just hear me out-- You don't know what I know.” she said.“ I know you're. . Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?" Yes it is," the man replies."Do you wanna buy a baseball?" asks the little boy."No, thank you," the man replies."I think you do wanna buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.After considering the position he's in, the man says, "Fine. How much?" Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies."TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats.
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