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The euphoria that I felt was tempered by fear of beingcaught, and guilt of being sneaky. I soon snuck entire outfits anddressed whenever I had the house to myself. When dressed "en femme" Ifelt peace in my soul and a feeling of being beautiful. The feeling wasaddictive, and as much as I tried, I couldn?t quit dressing.As I grew older, I prayed every night that I would be cured of thesefeelings. I carried a heavy burden, as I was terrified that I wouldeither never be happy, or destroy my family by coming forward. I playedfootball, so I could force myself into being more macho. From an earlyage, I had learned that I had better perfect my acting skills or perish.The image I presented to the whole world was that of the dutiful son. Idid all of the things a well-adjusted, "normal" son should do. I wasdetermined to prove to the world and myself that I could succeed as amale. I played sports, joined the Boy Scouts, was active at church,played in the band, and earned good grades.My. I was flat out in the back and when hubby suggested his friend lift me up he said it was OK, let me sl**p. Un-beknown to him of course, was that I was resting, slightly d***k, but not out of it. Within the first ten minutes it was obvious to me, my companion in the back was feeling frisky, as he now held my head in his lap, and as my husband and front seat companion chatted, his hand was wandering casually over my prostrate body. At first he traced the outline of my breasts through my sweater, gently kneading when he had a handful. His head was back, as I assume he was pretending to sl**p for the sake of the front seat passengers, that way he would not be disturbed in the darkness and not arouse any suspicions. Trouble was he was arousing me, as my breasts are an erogenous zone, any fondelling was bound to trigger urges deeper down. What facinated me was the audacity of him just to get stuck in and take liberties, but as he had never married I could only assume he was lonely and just.
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