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Every single person has a unique and personal reason for having their sexual preferences and some don't even know why. But for me I'd worked it out a long time ago. Some people liked to assume their kinks came from elements of their upbringing or early experiences. Maybe for some, that was true. But not for me:My childhood hadn't been the best. I'd been bullied and pushed around and had pressure on me to do well - not just well, but better than everyone else. In the end I rejected it all, it wasn't about that. I'd never really been loved or protected in the way that other kids seemed to be - it wasn't about that, either. I'd long ago learned to shut out the spitefulness of a bad parents words (or later, bad partners), by developing a trick I could do with my mind, I learned it at an early age and it worked for many years: I had this Off Switch. When I wanted to, I pictured it flicking to Off. And that was it, shutdown. No insecurity, no emotional pain, no nothing: Off. It didn't. ”After he recovered, Jarred returned the favor. I was so turned on from giving him the hand job that I’d been in an excited state for so long, so I didn’t last very long once Jarred started. It just took a few minutes and I was unloading all over Jarred’s hand. It was a great feeling that first time and after that, it became a regular practice for us to jack each other off when we were watching movies now. To tell the truth I think I enjoyed jacking Jarred off more than he did me because I always seem to be the one starting things off by jacking him off first. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he always returned the favor, but like I said, I always started it off. And also when I’d jack him off I’d get down on my knees between his legs and where my face was close to his lap and give him a serious hand job. When he’d return the favor he’d only use one hand. He’d be sitting beside me on the couch and reach over and jack me off while we watched the movie. There would be no ball play with the other.
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