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He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!''Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?''Just water, ' says the priest.The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.''Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?''When it was over, ' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.''Really, ' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his. It was getting quite busy with revellers waiting for the start of the festival. We walked as close as we could holding hands. We followed the crowds to a large tent. We heard music playing, George Ezra, we both sang along.We got to the tent as the first unknown band started. Carrie stood in front of me and I put my hands on her hips. Wow, she really can move them. I pulled myself close to her and we danced close to each other. The band was really good. After about an hour, the band finished and an announcement said there would be a 30 minute break before the next band. The next band weren't as good so we went to get a drink while they were playing. We looked at who else was going to be playing and decided we should go back to the cottage so we could watch the sunset together.We walked back to the bus stop. We had just missed one and it was an hour until the next one. There was a quiet little pub opposite the bus stop so went for a drink. This time we both had a cider. As the alcohol.
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