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Still when we went back to see Dr. Gardner after sleeping in the same bed for a week, I was beginning to think that there might be some outer limits to my anger, that I might be able to contain it. I found I was looking forward to tonight when I could say positive things to her, and I always meant those.If only - are there any sadder words? If only I could stop seeing images of her with those officers. I keep replaying conversations I had with those men, wondering if they ever let me hear them laughing at me, taunting me. Every time I start talk to Jenny about holding her in bed, or more, I'm flooded with the image of one of those fat slobs rutting on her. Then I want to throw up as I 'hear' her cries of passion ringing in my ears.As I lay here I can hear her breathing, she's asleep. Normally I'm asleep before she is. I've been taking a prescription sleeping pill since my first appointment with my shrink. The first two nights in bed with her, I didn't sleep a wink. I'm not sure why I. So are your problems. Now, Cramona, tell me what is troubling you.”“I hate to admit it, but I am ashamed, Chief.”“Ashamed, Why? What have you done?”“Nothing directly, sir, but my widowed mother recently remarried, and she wanted me out of her way, so that her new husband would not be distracted by me ... and my big breasts, I believe. I suspect that she had something to do with Gobango taking me to his hut.”“I see. You did nothing wrong, simply were present and good-looking, and thus became a victim of both Gobango and your mother.” He stopped speaking and reflected, “Ah, you do not expect to be welcomed by your mother and stepfather. Indeed, your stepfather may regard you as spoiled goods and available to him to play with as a sexual extra: not a good situation for you. Do you have an alternative option if you don’t regard me as acceptable?”“No, sir. I have made friends with the other two, so I will go along with whatever they decide. I would like to stay with them.”“But am I.
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