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"Hello." Evening, Helen," I responded. "It's ... Tom." Jesus, I nearly gave her my real name!"Oh, hello, Tom. What can I do for you?"I took a deep breath, "I've been thinking about another dare," I said in a rush, "but I'm not sure if it would be acceptable."I could almost here the frown in her response, "Why would it be unacceptable?" It, errr, involves, uhmm, urinating in public," I said.My statement was greeted by silence, a silence that seemed to drag on forever."Water sports," said Helen softly, "I'll have to check," she said."I'll call back in, what, ten minutes?" I said."Better make it twenty," she replied."Twenty it is," I said looking at the time.The line went dead and I swung around to my computer and called up Google.I could guess what 'water sports' meant but let's see what the Internet had to say on the matter.Good old Wikipedia, the fount of all knowledge, I grinned, some of it was even true but it made a good starting point.Uhmm, water sports, for sexual activity. Not much doubt that it was annoying, immature behavior on my part, but if it was, I'd have to apologize later.For now, I was The Intrepid Explorer: What's this? Feels like a left breast! Hmmm. Hefty little sucker! And what do we have here? Why, it seems to be a hidden cavern of some sort, its entrance protected by light undergrowth. Remarkable! Zounds! It appears to have its own heat source -- emanating from the interior of the cavern!For at least another 90 minutes, before I was forced by my kidneys to abandon the bed, I continued this potentially deal-breaking misbehavior.Amy got out of bed soon after I did, and ran naked down the long hall to the other upstairs bathroom, and afterward, to her own still-disheveled bedroom.We all four were trying to prepare brunch when the phone rang. It was Mike Flanagan, the Orioles Vice President/co-GM."Shigeo there with you?" Mike asked."Yeah -- he's right here. You want to talk to him?"I'm a comedian."I just wanted to know if he was there. I'm.
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