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I even warned Don that I might get a quick phone call, some important business I needed to handle, and he said, ‘No problem, just don’t make a habit out of it,’ but my phone never buzzed. When the longest day of my life finally ended, I knew I wasn’t going home. I practically ran to Alicia’s apartment to see if she was there. I rang the intercom and didn’t get an answer. Then I noticed a piece of paper taped to the intercom. It said ‘Ray’ on the outside and if I hadn’t been in such a hurry I would have noticed it before ringing. I snatched it and opened and read, ‘Alicia doesn’t have her phone, you can reach her through me.’ I was signed, Janice — Alicia’s mom and had a phone number. This didn’t make any sense. Alicia’s didn’t say her mom was coming from California. That would be a pretty big deal and I think she would have said something, wouldn’t she? And why would she leave me a note? There was no time to waste, and I called the number on the paper. She didn’t answer, so I left a. My musing reminded me just how incredibly lucky I’d been to find Helga. She’s married to one of our psychiatric consultants, Clifford Szymanski, and once their children were at school, she’d retrained as a medical secretary and come to work transcribing his notes. In the review of policies and procedures after my predecessor’s abrupt departure, someone in HR finally cottoned on to the fact that she was in effect reporting to her husband, and he was the one writing her annual performance reviews. (To be brutally honest here, my impression is that she was drafting them and he was just signing his name at the bottom, but neither of them will ever admit anything on that subject.) Obviously that was now a big no-no, but it was a grandfathered arrangement that needed sorting out amicably. My own secretary was starting a family, so I was looking for someone to replace her, and an unusually perceptive person in HR suggested that Helga could work for me and transcribe Clifford’s consultation.
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