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You know, that same old story. Talking about my life these days without talking about Troy & Julie Equals, the great couple I mentioned in the Cliff Notes version, would be like having an interview with The Pope on the condition ‘Don’t bring up the whole ‘God’ thing.’ Born neighbors and best friends for life, learned how to control minds, taught it to a friend who became pseudo-evil, got together, she’s a graphic designer and artist, he’s going for a doctorate in Economics, met me, moved me in with them, got married, just got back from Europe. Their story is easier to tell and much nicer than mine. The day I met them, we had Chinese for dinner, and my fortune cookie said ‘A New Day is Dawning for You.’ I’ve never gotten a fortune so prophetic. It’s now in my purse, along with more stuff than I think most women carry, a habit born of frequently having to flee the apartment to escape the ex-douchebro in the middle of the night. From the sound of things, though, I wasn’t going to have. ”“Will you marry me?”“Oh David, I haven’t been able to think of anything else since you casually dropped it into a conversation and then carried on as though it hadn’t happened. Of course I’ll marry you, just as soon as we can afford to get a flat or something. I wouldn’t want to start our married lives living with either of our parents.”“Er, I have something to tell you that just might cheer you up a little. I have a trust fund, which I can access when I’m 21. Unfortunately, as you know, that is a year away, so if you won’t marry me until we have our own place, then we’ll just have to carry on wearing my, and Alice’s, bed out.”Alice got the good news when she returned from her tactical withdrawal to the bathroom.“Now can we tell Rachel all the details, and results, of mom and dad’s trip?”We could, we did, and Rachel kept looking at me and saying things like:“You fucked your mom? With your dad in the same room. You fucked your mum with your dad in the room with your sister? You fucked.
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