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I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by this but told him both him and Bill were cheeky old sods and should keep their hands to themselves.He genuinely seemed remorseful so I told him to forget it and offered him my smoke. He looked over his shoulder to make we couldn’t be seen and had a long drag. He clinked my glass and we stood there enjoying the warm night air. After one of those awkward silences, he apologised again for the way he had treated Jo and told me that he and his wife were no longer ‘intimate’ if I knew what he meant, adding that seeing all the women here in their summer dresses had got him all hot and bothered. I said I knew what he meant and there was some fine looking women there. Id warmed to him and to be honest felt a bit sorry for him. We found a bench to sit on and I rolled another smoke. Our legs were touching as we sat back looking at the stars, he kept thanking me for the smoke and saying what a great guy I was, what a sexy wife I had and asking why didn’t she. We ate and we had a pleasant meal. Ed had the whipped puppy act down to a science. He was spouting more bullshit than a herd of cattle."I think part of my problem is that in my later years I've gotten away from the church," he said. "I need a dose of the good book to get me back on the straight and narrow." I looked across the table from him expecting to see him get struck by lightning.When it didn't happen, I yelled,"Excuse me." Then I ran into the house and down into the basement. I closed all of the doors behind me and buried my face in one of the pillows on the sofa down there. Then I laughed my ass off. There was no way that bastard should have had the balls to even step into a church. He was just trying to say whatever he thought would save him yet again.When I got done laughing, there were still tears running down my cheeks and my face was red. I went back and sat down at the table. Penny was looking at me strangely. The expression on Ed's face was as pure as the driven snow..
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