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Did y'all want me to take it back?"I opened my mouth to jump on this blessed opportunity, but I was too slow."Hell no, we don't want to send it back!" My buddy Bart glared at the waiter as if his manhood had been questioned, and the chastened server shrugged and disappeared back into the crowded restaurant. Bart's wife Rayeanne let out a little moan of despair, then turned to Cindy and gave her an apologetic shrug. It didn't look like married life was slowing down ole Bart too much.Cindy gave me a look that said "I can't believe you guys still feel the need to get shitfaced whenever you get together."I gave her a shrug that said "It's not me, it's him, and besides, he's your cousin." Here's to the good old days," said Bart out loud, lifting his glass. "Goddamn it's good to see you again, Deej! And you too, Cin." Great to see you too, Bart," I said. "But it's only been four months. Barely enough time for my liver to recover from the wedding." I took a sip of my drink. Tabasco sauce,. I instead returned from the kitchen with a ring on a pie plate and I proposed to her.George Carlin once mused that people don't seem to get laid much at Thanksgiving. He definitely wasn't there that Thanksgiving. Once Lynne's parents had returned to their hotel, she proceeded to fuck my brains out.We were married on a boat in Galveston that following May. My parents bought me a house in an upscale section of Pasadena as a pre-wedding gift. "That way if you end up in divorce court, you still have a roof, sonny boy," were my dad's words of wisdom as he handed me the keys.I told them that divorce wasn't in my future but thanked them for the forethought. Lynne and I moved in after our honeymoon and settled into our life. During our first four years of marriage I could never complain about our sex life. Other aspects of our life, however, left a lot to be desired.When Lynne and I got together, she was barely making ends meet. I assumed that was because she didn't make a lot as a bank.
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