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Wow, I never knew how the big "D", divorce, made people so uncomfortable, and their wish not to be around me. It is so unfair, as friendships I genuinely shared with my now ex-spouse just up and left me. The husbands all felt I would be a "bad influence" on their wives. I thought the days of the scarlet "A" were over, but friends that did not disappear, all seemed to take his side. When we split, I thought "my" people would go with me. I tried to surround myself with people who could see me for me, but it is hard, as all I seemed to attract were other cheating divorcees, or sleazy married men looking for a quick screw.I cannot believe how tight money is. Neither one of us were millionaires, and even with the child support my standard of living has really dropped. I had to sell the home I loved so much, and downsize to a smaller crackerbox house. The precious savings evaporated to cover the legal bills. I wanted to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, now I am back at work. I do my best to. There had been no doubt about that. She hadn't known what he was doing at first, as she caught her breath, but as his hand bumped her thighs and her mind supplied an image of something very near to what a man did in a woman, she realized that, as her own fingers had brought her release in the past, his fingers might be doing the same thing for him.That hadn't bothered her at all. She only wished that she might have some part in it the next time ... should there be a next time.She thought there might be.She hoped there might be.Becky's mind was seething with emotion as she sat next to AJ and the wagon started moving. That emotion was responsible for her loud "Hiyah!" when she got the oxen moving, but it didn't lessen the turmoil inside her. Part of it was the memory of what she'd seen them doing the night before. Part of it was the fact that, for the first time in her life, she'd relieved herself right there next to a man, squatting with her dress raised, and the grass tickling her.
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