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I needed to be emotionally detached, to appear more self sufficient than I really was. I could still run away inside my mind and hide, I just couldn't do it without feelings now. I had lost the ability to do that. I was now just as vulnerable as anyone else. Maybe that had always been true, but now I knew that it was. I felt exposed."I can't just go back there, not after this. I need some time to think about things. Tell Mama I love her, and I'm sorry, but I need to still figure a lot of things out. This thing with Brenda is causing me problems, and I need to get myself to where I'm able to accept what happened better. Right now, I'm very angry." That's certainly understandable, Kenny. All of us are angry about different aspects of this situation. Several unfortunate events had occurred in your absence. Walt and Georgia have separated, with Georgia and Brenda occupying the apartment we keep in Bolling. Walt and Richard remain in their home. Walt is aware of what went on at your house. "The fun starts tonight." She ate a bit, and pretty soon Krys got up to do something or other, one of her 'Krys-things' as I'd taken to calling them, and Mom put down her fork and lowered her voice."Dear, I really didn't expect that you were a virgin. If I'd known, I would have—" Forget about it," I said. "It's over and done with. And like I said, it didn't hurt or anything." I gave her a smile. "All of those dance classes and times I went horseback riding made sure of that."She nodded. "The first time can be, well, the first time can be a bit of a problem for a girl. You can tell her what's going to happen, but it doesn't really prepare her. Getting her to talk about it afterward is important, though. It's how women work though things."That was a big broad hint, and it did feel better to share my first time with her. I was comfortable in my own mind, but talking about it helped me validate what had happened, and I felt better for it. Not being dumb, I told her what happened,.
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