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Not my wife's brother ... no ... her sister's husband. He happened to be both. Molester AND porn star ... which brings us to the funny uncle.I'd rather not talk about that.The crazy aunts; in this case they're my sisters in law. Bat shit crazy ... all four of them ... but the youngest one decided I should be married to her ... and she was truly cute. Even though I no longer have the first wife ... they are still my children's aunts.I am beginning to see that the next category is redundant; the perverts and the preverts.I met the borrowers and the beggars. One borrower wanted the money he gave us for our wedding gift back ... but don't tell his wife because it was the rent money. I rolled my eyes.The black sheep and the bad penny, the drunks and the addicts, and the preachers. Funny ... that's my father in law. All four of the last categories ... in one.He got in a fight with my best man over who was the best man.He took a swing at me because I got her before he did.And he was the. ..oh miss!" I turned, and she held out my purse to me. I took it,and tried to walk away, but... "You look very familiar dear. Do I knowyour mother? Have we met before?"What could I do? I had never been a good liar, and this was my Nana! Ittook all my effort to calmly say one word, "no", and walk away from heras quickly as I could. By the time I reached the exit I was shaking,sure that Nana had recognized me, even thought she had honestly asked mewho I was. Maybe she had not recognized me. I could only hope. Nanaraised my mother, and mom is real sneaky, which I knew she got fromNana. All I could do was walk home and hope that Nana wouldn't figureout who I really was. Once at home I went to my room and tried on all ofmy new clothes, then had a snack and changed into my pajamas and watchedtelevision until bed time, which is when I made my next mistake. Iforgot to wash off the makeup, so in the morning, it was on the pillowcasing!I was frantic since I wasn't sure how to remove makeup.
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