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He said that as it was half-term, a lot of people were off, so as to get an early start for a long bank holiday weekend.Jen introduced Hamish, and Julie kissed my parents as they said how pleased they were that all four of us had appeared.Dad joked that Hamish and I could ride with him and that we'd nip into the boozer for some male bonding and have a swift half on the way home; Mum's mini followed us into the pub car park, and he had to buy a round of six drinks. He didn't seem surprised!I could tell that Mum and Dad were chuffed to be able to show off their children and girlfriend / boyfriend at the pub; they introduced Julie and Hamish to the landlord, and it was clear that they considered bringing the four of us to the pub to be another milestone in helping us make our own way in the world. It was much like my eighteenth birthday two years earlier, when Dad had proudly taken me down to the pub for a pint, and told everyone in the bar that I was now eighteen.The ritual glass of. .." That's a scurrilous rumor started by someone to trying to besmirch my good name. I totally and unreservedly deny it." Then I made my belly rumble loudly.After the laughter, "Did you do that deliberately?" Rumble my belly like this you mean," I did it again. "Sure. Don't tell me none of you can do that whenever you want? No? I bet you can't make songs by pumping a hand in your armpit either? What about belching the Star Spangled Banner?" Haha." These are ESSENTIAL skills! Every boy learns them before they're ten, so you know they must be important. How can you possibly expect to be successful in life if you can't belch the national anthem? People will think you're unpatriotic. I've always thought girls spend far too long in clothing stores, and now I know your education is being seriously neglected in the 'Body Noises' department. If food wasn't even more important, we'd be spending the rest of the evening working on making a belching choir out of the sixteen of you. I bet none of.
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