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There I was, swiping left and right as alert after alert came back with matches followed by instantaneous messages asking to hook up. I ignored them and continued swiping, trying to achieve as many options as I possibly could.Too short... too skinny... too pale... whew he's fine... Probably won't want anything to do with my ugly ass, yea he's too fine, next... Oh...My thumb hovered over the avatar of a gorgeous woman posing at a bar in a nightclub. I swiped through her profile and was captivated, she was a fucking goddess. I could feel my breathing shallow as I gawked at her ridiculously perfect body, shocked at how much I wanted to have my way with her."How much rum is in this rum raisin Nala?!" I asked my dog incredulously.That's it, experiment over. While setting down my phone to pet her I inadvertently swiped right on the enchantress."Oh fuck."Doesn't matter, it's not like we'll match up anyway.I set my phone down and went back to the musings of Shonda Rhimes when a few minutes. Suddenly, she slowed to a walk. I came up next to her and she took my hand. We walked the rest of the way back without saying anything but simply enjoying each other’s company. We walked all the way back to her front door. I didn’t want to let her go but did, reluctantly. She said, “Half an hour and then breakfast.”I smiled and nodded. I walked into my house, stripped, and showered. After shaving, I dressed in my usual Dockers and shirt and walked over to her condo. I knocked once and tried the door. It was unlocked. I came in shouting loudly, “Sandy, it’s me.”She came down the stairs in another beautifully tailored outfit. I whistled appreciatively. She smiled at me and walked into my arms kissing me soundly. “You’re a nice man, Jack.”I said, “No, you’re a hot looking babe, Sandy.”She said, “Are you hungry?”“Not necessarily for food.” I grinned.She smiled. “Food is what’s on the menu.”“I’ll have food then. I really want to be with you.”“Then you can help. I need some vegetables.
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