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I just held her. I really did love her, it was God that was killing me not my wife.She went to the doctors with me and he said I probably would be lucky to make it through the month. My wife and I both began to cry. What else do you do with a month to live?He told me he would give me morphine toward the end so I wouldn't feel as much pain. But for now all he could do was just give me more pain killers.On the way home my wife kept crying and asking me why I didn't tell her? I just explained there was nothing she could do and she had enough burdens to deal with. That I only found out on the last visit to the doctors.Over the next week I told my employer the situation and went on permanent sick leave. We got all our affairs in order and even made all the funeral arrangement except for the date. I wasn't dead yet. I was still doing a few fucks during this time but I was trying to save myself at little.We called the kids all to the house and explained the situation about my upcoming. He ended up rejecting her and she watched helplessly as he began to date her roommate instead. She put on even more weight during this period. Still a virgin at twenty-seven, she fell in love again: with the father of her now nearly twenty-year-old daughter. He was an Irish tourist and definitely, the most handsome man she had laid eyes on in years. They became friends. He would sit by her and they would go for long walks and talk about anything and everything: but there had been no romantic gestures on his part. Wanting to feel loved and accepted, she shocked the hell out of him one day by impulsively putting her head on his chest while they were lying back on a bed [with other people in the room] watching a video. He tensed, but never moved away from her. He certainly never told her to get the hell off him. That alone was all it took to make her feel secure. Around two weeks went by. It was the week before Christmas. He had been to an after work Christmas party and had.
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