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"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle."The bad noos is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your pecker. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena." Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th. That’s actually a good sign, Jonnie… Charles looked back up at Megan. ‘Sweetie… do you find Jonnie physically attractive?’ She closed her eyes as she saw an image of Jonnie’s strong body in nothing but his wet swimming trunks plastered to his hard, round butt and the large bulge in the front. Water was dripping down his firmly muscled, nearly hairless chest and his deep aqua eyes were staring at her from his handsome face. His muscles flexed as he reached up to slick his dark, wet hair back from his face. She shivered as she felt the tingles coursing through her body… the tingles that made her feel nervous around him. She opened her eyes and stared at her father nervously. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. Brad snorted, ‘Damn it, Meg… are you saying you didn’t find ME physically attractive?!!’ Megan looked up at him with her eyes flashing. ‘How can you say that, Brad, after the way I responded to you when we made love?!!’ Charles stood up and moved between them. ‘All right… we don’t need to know.
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