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The weather was good and the water was still warm enough to swim in the sea. Bram and Naomi had the time of their life and loved it when I helped them build a big sandcastle. Ilse quite enjoyed it when I gave her a massage. Of course, it was under the pretense of rubbing tanning lotion on her body, while I enjoyed the sights of her sexy body in a skimpy bikini at the same time.We ate seafood for dinner in a restaurant that evening and ended up having a lot of fun with the lobster scissors and shells. Bram and Naomi slept in the backseat of my car on the way back while Ilse and I listened to relaxing music on the radio. We arrived at about eleven at her apartment. I helped Ilse carrying the kids upstairs, which turned out being easier said than done. Getting to the fifth floor with a sleeping child in your arms and a heavy backpack hanging on your shoulders was quite the energy drain. Still, it was only two trips and I enjoyed helping Ilse out.That was also the first evening that Ilse. Inside he knew that he was a sissy.Inside he knew that his unrelenting sissy desires would always leave himin life neither one or the other.Never a 'normal' guy, never an openly gay guy and definitely never agirl.Inside he knew without doubt that he was a sissy.It was a knowledge that with his recent progression, or was that decent,into embracing his true self that was bringing his sub-conscious more andmore into his everyday life, one taboo at a time.His driving sissy desires had turned slowly into actual sissy behaviorover time and his self delusion that, for example his overly groomedappearance, his slim feminine figure, regular light make-up and the facthe had been growing his hair had gone totally unnoticed by the otherstaff. Months and months of dressing fully at home had given him a sadlydistorted view of what was a 'normal' male appearance and he actuallybelieved that his heterosexuality was beyond doubt.The fact that just a few days before he had gone out fully dressed.
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