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’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that ... You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this. You’ve met everyone invited for this Sunday and for the first Sunday. We have talked about it and here’s what we’ve decided…’ Wally said. Carolyn took it, ‘Married couples only. Shacking up doesn’t count. Both partners must attend. No overt sexual intercourse.’ ‘We have a guest room if someone can’t wait long enough to go home.’ Wally said smiling. ‘Kissing each other is Ok and when it gets serious we will ask people to take it inside or home.’ Shanna looked at me and said, ‘We’ll need to talk this over before we commit to anything. I’m not sure about doing this.’ ‘Talk it over. Talk it over with us, come this Sunday. I’m sure the other couples want to talk it over, too. In any case, this is only something that happens among adults. The kids aren’t invited or included and won’t be.’ Later, we walked home. Shanna took the babysitter home and I got ready for bed. When she joined me in bed she said, ‘What do you think?’ Her hand snaked to my erection and found it mostly hard. ‘I guess.
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