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Thegirls weren't fawning over Garrett simply because he was the new guy--afeatured new flavor of the month. No--it was crystal clear to me thatGarret would not lose his luster with time. Why? Well--not only did theguy ooze charm, he was also really good-looking. I suppose you'd have tosay he was a perfect male specimen. He was tall with broad muscularshoulders and a flat stomach. He had a big square jaw and a cleft in hischin. His eyes were bright blue. How was I supposed to compete with him?Then there was the fact that females seemed to literally fall under aspell when they happened to glance too deeply into Garrett's eyes. I sawit happen again and again. A girl would be talking to him, and her eyesseemed to glaze over in a state of entrancement. A dreamy smile wouldappear on her face. I didn't know what kind of mojo he was wielding, butit was damn powerful stuff.When he was out of earshot, the girls often made lascivious commentsthrough mischievous grins. Like when. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat ... A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing except eat, yet it lives for 150 years.And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so!Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.Funny, I don’t remember being absent-mindedFunny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the tree.I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.Kids in the back seat cause accidents.Accidents in the back seat cause kids.It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.If I was meant to touch my toes, they would be.
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