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Oscar also had a secret. He was an admirer of transwomen, so he was stunned when he realized one of the older women cyclists that burned past his house each day was a g u r l. Long silver hair with highlights of red-blonde streamed behind her in the wind as she rode. She seemed to have several different velocipedes and rarely rode the same bike twice in a row. Her sculpted legs moved with an easy pace and she rode the bikes as skillfully as a true equestrian guides a horse. Oscar’s house sat on the crest of a little hill with a curvy street, but the woman rarely slowed her pace as she raced past. He could hear the chic-music playing on an audio speaker as she rode past. He could smell her perfume and pheromones in her wake. Her bewitching blue-green eyes sparkled with the thrill of the ride above her custom-made ‘Starry Night’ mask. Budding boobies bounced as she rode, the nipples hard and pointed through the fabric of her shirt.Oscar’s plan was simple. He bought some carpet. Were they medals perhaps? A status symbol?I raised the tablet, and started to navigate the menus as Vi had demonstrated to me, hoping to high heaven that I didn’t accidentally insult their mothers by pressing the wrong symbol. I managed to get into the English to ‘whatever language these aliens spoke’ user interface, and was relieved to see an English keyboard pop up to await my entry.“Here goes nothing,” I muttered, and began to enter a line of text. I knew from experience that the device worked best when it was fed simple words and phrases, and so I typed out ‘Hello’, and the device emitted an odd grunting bark. The aliens seemed taken aback for a moment, then the largest alien pounded his chest and returned a comparable burst of harsh, guttural speech. The translator also had a microphone and could interpret sound, though Vi had no use for the function as her English was very good. I waited for a moment as the computer did its work.[WE GREET]Excellent, it was working! I typed in.
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