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Every word is an effort. My body feels so terribly heavy. ?It tipped over, out of my reach. I was only supposed to hang for five minutes.??Five minutes?? Boyd looks incredulous. ?That was when?? ?Friday night.? I have to squeeze my eyes shut against tears. ?Wow.? Boyd sounds amused. ?You sure got a lot more than you bargained for.?Hanging here, talking like this, is strangely therapeutic. His questions are focusing my thoughts, giving me a purpose, a distraction. The pain seems more distant, even though it rages unabated. I feel humiliated to behanging here naked in front of my work colleague, and yet, somehow confessing my fantasy to him is creating an intimacy I never expected. My god, is this Stockholm Syndrome? ?So five minutes has turned into two days? How does it feel??If not for the pain, I would have laughed. ?It hurts like hell.??On a scale of one to ten?? I hesitate. Despite everything, I hesitate. The pain is awful, all-consuming, raging, constant. And yet, I have borne it. ...." I cut Harvey off in mid sentence and said "no! Harvey don't tell me you love me I broke us I was too stupid and weak to fight for my rights to be a dad to our son and now im paying the price for my actions" Harvey stroked my cheek and said "I love you Leon and I always will" both me and Harvey reached into each other and kissed. Before I new it Harvey was leading me into are/my bedroom we was kissing all over each others bodies me and Harvey had sex for about an hour and feel asleep when i woke up again harvey wasnt there. I walked out the bedroom and found Harvey in the bathroom having a shower. I walked into the bathroom and said to Harvey “so what happends now” harvey continuing to shower said “babe we need to talk big time” Harvey finihsed his shower and came into the living room where we talked for over an hour and decided we would take it slow and i would go to counciling for my feeling of not being worth while as Edvards dad. Harvey decided he would try and keep to the.
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