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Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.5.. “I never figured you for a Creationist. I bet that’s not the usual moniker you have for me. I bet it’s usually ‘that cunt’ or ‘that fucking bitch,’ isn’t it?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Your Holiness,” Gloria muttered. “Well, normally I like to be referred to as ‘boss,’ ‘Night Eyes,’ or occasionally, ‘Mistress,’” Willowbud said, “but in your case, I think ‘Your Holiness’ will do just fine. In the end, there’s really only one god that matters.” A stone spike shot through the vampire’s chest, spraying blood across Astrid’s face. Gloria’s red eyes widened for a second, and then faded as her head dropped. Tera let out a blood-curdling scream and made a move to launch at Willowbud, but her hands were bound to the chair before she even got off her ass. “She tried to kill me, Auntie, so don’t act like I’m the bad guy here,” Willowbud said as Tera thrashed. “You’ve got to be level-headed about these things. How many poor bastards did you kill?” “She could have helped you!”.
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