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She, I, we all want you to be happy."It was not an easy charge. For the first time in my life I turned away from Her. Grief wracked me, grief suppressed these many years, but still deep and abiding for all of that. I cried out my loneliness and heartache. In that moment P'sero was truly gone. She gathered me in Her arms as I wept for him once again, feeling anew the desolation and loss of him and all that we had been. I finally knew he would never return. It was as if I finally released his spirit to join our Ariadne. I had watched his sail disappear over the rim of the world so many years ago, never realizing my life went with it. Now he was truly gone, forever a memory, except in my heart. Was there room for another alongside him?"Yes," She said, holding me, stroking my hair in the same gentle way my mother had. "There is room in your heart for both of them, child, just as there is room in your heart for all of your children."That reminded me of my Ariadne, mine and P'sero's, and. " No! I won't," John screamed. Mother slapped his face and he started tocry.My mother, went into the living room and John ran into his bedroom. Beingthe oldest he had his own room. I shared with Paul.I followed and asked what was happening."She wants me to be Fa'afafine." I had seen some of the boys at schoolsuddenly turn up on a Monday mornng wearing skirts like the girls. Therewere only a few. The one in my class, Susan, told me her mum and dad weremaking her do it. Now mum was going to make John be a girl."What are you going to do?" I'm running away," John said."Please don't, you can't." I started to cry, I worshiped John. He taughtme how to play football, fish and protected me from bullies.I thought it through, if John ran away, I would probably be chosen, Orpossibly Paul. I was protective of Paul. I hated the thought of him beingsad.So I said the only thing I my 11 year old brain could think of. I wouldsacrifice myself."I'll do it, I'll be the girl!"After we told mum and dad,.
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