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Have you ever looked at one of those collections of Erotica in the local Barnes & Noble? No, not the collected letters to Penthouse magazine, that’s porn. I’m talking about the ones with diaphanously covered nude women on the covers, which have noteworthy editors proud to be associated with such fine volumes, and are full of supposedly artistic, serious, award-winning authors you’ve never heard of. The stories in those things deal with people’s feelings about flowers or sunshine while they enjoy melancholy memories of long ago. Rainy afternoons, moonbeams through wisteria, and moss on nineteenth-century marble statuary are very nice, but that stuff is strictly G-rated. I’ve flipped through fifteen pages of those books at a time, searching in vain for something that’s remotely possible to use when I whack off. The porn I write is Dee-Eye-Are-Tee-Why DIRTY, not to be shown to children or parents. It belongs hidden under the mattress, behind the pipes beneath the bathroom sink, or in. ..”“Now look, I know why you’re feeling uncomfortable. It’s because the lines have blurred - you’re not sure when to act like brother and sister, and when to act like we’re on a date. Is that right?”“That’s ... right...”“So why don’t we make it simpler? Even though we’re always brother and sister, let’s always act like we’re on a date. Around the house, in public - no matter where we are, just act like we’re on a date, okay?”“Always ... on a date?”“That’s right. Always on a date. Repeat it back...”“Always ... on ... a ... date...”“Good girl. Now, when we’re on a date, you’re super turned on, aren’t you?”“Mmm hmmm...”“So if we’re always on a date, you’re always turned on, yeah?”“Always ... turned ... on...”“And when we’re on a date, it’s okay to give me a blow-job, isn’t it?”“Mmm...”“So how about we do that right now? Come on over here, and put that mouth of yours to work...”“Okay ... Dennis...”“And don’t worry about our third date. We’ll schedule that for another time.”I don’t know.
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