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Because vanity I guess. Growing up I used to ask mom what I looked like and she'd always say I was as pretty as a flower and as stubborn as a mule. Not being able to see me as I really am has always been a thing. I don't really truly know and I try not to let it get to me. The doubts. Friends and family are the same. You're the first person who has properly seen me as I am. The real me on the outside as well as the inside." Her voice drifted away and she lowered her head and sat there biting her lip and twisting her fingers.I sat staring at her with only the quiet ticking of the alarm clock breaking the silence between us. My God. Of course such a question was important to her. We all need to know how others see us and how we think we appear to others. Basic human nature. How do I look to you? Do I look good to you? Do you want and like looking at me? We all have our own self-doubts to overcome to be able to feel comfortable with who we are. For this girl, because of her disability,. It didn’t matter to Clara and Gabby that the likelihood was that those that had gone home had probably ended up in prison, or worse, depending on who met them on the other side. To them, all that mattered was that I’d given the other people a choice, and they had made it. As such, they should live with it and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. The thing was that I did feel guilty, and I felt that if I did open the Gateway once again, if only for a brief moment to send the probe through to our old Earth, I should allow those people who were unhappy to go as well. Clara and Gabby disagreed. So did Kim.I went and spoke to Kim right after the spring festival and before any renovations started at the northern settlement. She had spent the winter in the south keeping Koo company and acting as my eyes and ears amongst the southern settlements. She was happy to see me, but she wasn’t very sympathetic.“You’ve got to stop feeling guilty and move on,” Kim told me bluntly. “It’s time to send the.
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