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To be honest, I was getting tired of receiving those constant reminders from the subdivision central committee to kindly wear at least a bathing suit when tending my garden. I admit it was part of my scheme for rounding up spare cocks with time on their side and absent wives busy with the other social bullshit that went on at a frantic pace both day and night.I must confess that I was on intimate terms with most of the male neighbors and probably had more sex with some of those poor neglected men than they had with their own wives.One of my friendly male neighbors called Tony begged me to stay or he would follow me and leave his wife of some forty plus years to run in the surf of the Atlantic Ocean or the calm waters of the Gulf of Mexico. I really liked Tony a lot, well, I really liked his long thick salami that he regularly buried in my snatch usually standing and taking it from behind because he had a bad back and needed the added leverage.Actually I thought he was a bit too old. .. I was ecstatic. The puppy was pretty happy too.Now, I had to figure out how to play the damn thing. I’d been nylon strings and wide classical necks since my first guitar. Three finger, four finger and flamenco picking was what I knew ... not that I was very good.“Yeah, I’ll just bet,” I said.“Bet what,” said Johnny.“Just talking to the voices in my head,” I said.“You and Karen,” John said.“What?”“She talks to herself all the time.” Johnny said, “She talked to the ceiling when she bought the Lottery winner ... or so the story goes.”I burst out laughing.When I settled down I said, “So did I.”And that set us all off.To change the subject I asked about the dog.Hold on a second ... let me explain.When I walked into the Two Bit, a long but not tall yellow and white puppy was right at my heels and nobody noticed.Now, the Two Bit has an assortment of lawn furniture on display in front of the store. Johnny leaves them out during the summer ... for the tourists, he says ... although he’s.
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