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Sorry Trish, if it hurts you, he said, but I am not going to change. And I have never tried to impose my sexual fantasies into our love life.I heard what he said, and agreed, he had never mentioned animal sex to me. And we had been together for three years.I lifted my head up, looked him in the eyes, and said I was wrong, and I would like a chance to prove it.Paul put a his hands on either side of my face, and kissed me, it sounds stupid, but I got butterflies in my stomach. I was so relieved, I kissed him back, putting my tongue into his mouth. Running around his teeth, and playing with his tongue.When the kiss broke off. I looked him in the eyes and said how much I had missed him, he kissed the end of my nose, and said that he loved me, and missed me too.It was getting dark by this time, so Paul got up and closed the curtains. He got us both another drink, and this time sat down next to me.About this animal sex, have you ever seen it I asked, only on film he replied. Have you got. I sat at my desk and stared into nothing. Nothing is what my life promised to be from now on. In that future, like an automaton I would take the train in the morning, my fellow passengers knowing nothing, nor caring of the bitter pain that I carried with me every day. I would come to this office and place figures in the right columns and even then the pain would keep me reminded of what I had lost. Then in the evening I would return to an empty home. No, not a home, a house, a dull listless place empty of her laughter, her presence, her voice, even the lingering perfume she would leave in any room she entered. That would be my life. It didn't matter that my logical brain told me that I had no proof. My emotions told me otherwise. She had allowed another man to view, taste and possess her. Giving to him that which she had once promised only I would have. Lily! Oh Lily. Why? Why?When I arrived home that evening I was feeling sick. I had wondered how I could refrain from making love.
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